The Definition of a “Real Woman”

Society is funny these days. With the whole #MeToo movement, “the future is female” and just the whole movement towards a more female-empowered world, one would think there would be a flood of women just supporting each other through the thick of it all.

Instead, I find myself scrolling through vicious comments where women would, in fact, tear each other down.

“Real women have curves”

Nothing makes me more upset than seeing a photo of a woman and then seeing the comment, “she’s not a real woman. Real women have curves.” Considering that I’m a fairly skinny person, and have been throughout my life (partly through genetics and partly through going to the gym), I take offense. Am I not a real woman? Do I not have feelings just because of my weight and figure? Is that all we’re basing it on?


This is hypocrisy at its best.

There is one fitness instagrammer that I would often see in my feed, who tries to inspire others with a workout routine. She has a toned body – not overly muscular but you can clearly see she works out. Instead of commending her for her hard work, I would read so many countless comments saying excuses like “oh, I don’t have time for a workout. I’m a real woman who has a job”, or “she looks too much like a boy. I want to look like a real woman.”

Why is it so hard for some women to acknowledge that no matter the size, a woman is a woman?

When Meghan Trainor came out with the song “All About that Bass”, I felt it was such an empowering song!… that is, until she starts saying “go ahead and tell them skinny bitches…” and “you know I won’t be no stick figure, silicone Barbie doll.” Hold on there, Meghan. How can she seriously write a song about empowering the female body and then talk shit about a certain type of the female body?!

Why did she have to bring one person down just to lift another person up?

Why can’t we all lift each other up instead?

So, to sum it up, I vehemently hate the words “real women” because as a general statement, it basically makes no sense. If you’re a woman, you’re already technically a “real woman”. That’s just how the plain English language works. Yet, for some reason, some women have taken it upon themselves to create this underlying meaning behind it with this whole “if you’re not with us, you’re against us” mentality.

We have enough problems as women as it is dealing with unfair pay, sexual harassment, and in general, living in a patriarchal world – let’s focus on tackling those problems instead of each other, shall we?

Slightly off-topic, I wore this outfit to Taylor Swift’s “Reputation” tour when she performed at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. I had such an amazing time with my best friend, belching out the words to every song she sang, especially to throwback ones like “Long Live”, which is one of my favorite songs of her’s ever. I was gutted when I missed out on her “1989” tour and I’m so glad I didn’t miss out on this one, even if it meant flying back to LA for the weekend to do so.

But going back to the topic on hand – what is your definition of a “real woman”? Do you agree or disagree with my take on it?


  1. June 14, 2018 / 5:17 am

    I get it fully as I am a slim person… naturally slim and I work out too. I am a real woman. If anyone believes curvy is the definition of a real woman…so be it! Happy days!

    • admin
      June 15, 2018 / 3:05 am

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Yvonne!

  2. June 14, 2018 / 4:17 pm

    I totally agree with you! I’m naturally skinny and seeing comments like that, even though they aren’t for me specifically, make me angry. But I think all good changes take time and we’re definitely heading in a good direction!

    • admin
      June 15, 2018 / 3:06 am

      You’re right, change takes time. I forget sometimes how civil change sometimes takes decades, and even centuries to shift.

  3. June 14, 2018 / 11:40 pm

    I love this post, and I agree 100%. The “future is female” movement is a powerful one, and I see the attitude or mindset in women change constantly, but unfortunately it’s only for our own ego. Not one that inspires us to go out and support women of all kind. I loved everything you had to say, so thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    xo, Jenna

    • admin
      June 15, 2018 / 3:06 am

      Thanks for your feedback, Jenna!

  4. June 15, 2018 / 3:13 am

    I love this post. I, too, am a smaller sized person and lately I’ve felt as if women are putting each other down for their size instead of uplifting each other — which is ultimately the true goal in the end. Thank you for making this post and for sharing your thoughts! You are absolutely beautiful and I love the purse as well.


    • admin
      June 15, 2018 / 3:38 am

      Thanks for your input, Cindy!

  5. June 16, 2018 / 5:09 am

    I completely agree. Life can be difficult and it’s so much better with supportive people. I’m sure the women being unpleasant wouldn’t want someone to say something similar to them.

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

  6. June 16, 2018 / 2:45 pm

    I think it’s quite easy – there will always be someone who doesn’t like someone else. There is not one person in the entire world who can say she/he is liked by everyone. Meghan (whatever her last name is) just looked for her niche and since she’s curvy she addressed the curvy girls – hence hating on the skinny ones.
    The remedy is to simply not care and do your own thing – I think you look great!
    Ps. My first language is not English and from what I understand a real woman is simply a phrase to call someone very sensual like Monica Belucci – just my thoughts, I don’t know.

  7. June 18, 2018 / 2:39 am

    Couldn’t agree more dear. People try to put their own definition of things based on what is convenient to them. Anyway, you look lovely dear, such a cute floral dress you have there.

    Jessica |

  8. June 20, 2018 / 1:44 am

    Agree with everything here! My definition of a real woman is someone who defines themselves as a woman; there’s no such thing as “fake” women to me!

    Chloe x

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